Thursday, March 25, 2010

Balloon Powered Car Wikipedia

Penis That Sautéed

is easier to cook the fry penis: is less danger of bursting during cooking. Penis cut into two equal pieces, pierced with the tip of the knife across the surface every three inches.
Heat oil in a large skillet (no oil is hot muiy). Place the pieces of penis and cook with the fire a little stronger. Turn the pieces to be fried all over, moving carefully, using two spoons.
oil soak the pieces. Serve as is with white mustard.
From Cannibal Kitchen, Roland Topor.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

How To Hans Floor Cleaner

DEFAULT HEURISTICS

As always returned home to about two, opened the mailbox and pulled out the only letter that was inside unsealed or address. The envelope appeared with perfect penmanship your full name, address below, was of heavy paper and expensive to those who give for wedding treats, it cost a little tear the flap, inside a cardboard on which he hoped to find an invitation to a banquet, but it was not anything like that, read:

hereby inform you that I am considering his murder. Home
a period of reflection today on the first day of this month to evaluate the convenience and opportunities of his death.

if deemed appropriate may file a complaint against this notice after to any police force or relevant action before the civil courts it deems appropriate or exercise any other procedure deemed appropriate, it will not affect either positively or negatively in the decision.

rejected this assessment may be considered if within ninety days without any resolution.

IS YOU.

duly notified after the first reading
disorderly reread again and again returning to the word "murder" that could not integrate in a speech as formal as that of the statement. Being fully aware of and notifying him his gaze from left to right and then up while the cardboard in his hands trembled. Came home fast closed the door and took locks, he began to flourish panic.

spent a long time when almost all his thoughts revolved around the threat of statement like thousands of satellites orbit around the earth according to the law of universal gravitation. His obsession was to find a clue that would lead to the source of the threat, who, why they would want to kill such a person without enemies or debts, a basically good human being "I am a good person, who would want to kill a good person like me, "he repeated aloud from time to time. It was clear that only a psychopath could act so sinister, someone with a propensity to evil can not feel remorse, which uses people as toys to satisfy some enjoyment gradient, a murderer who takes pleasure in evil by watching their anguished victims. Would probably own code of conduct and nearly all psychopaths, a supreme law regardless of any moral or written law, the bastard would not feel guilty about the torment that caused, in case some anger when it violated its regulations. It would probably pint of decent, polite and someone close to you come across in the office, a clerk, or police, or the baker, or neighbor, or a doctor either way, a nasty hidden in everyday normal aberrant needs to create the core of all existence, a megalomaniac who writes notifications absurd announced murder good people will surely be able to meet unscrupulous without feeling any guilt.

He soon reported to his friends and almost all encouraged him to complain to the police while others downplayed it almost convinced him that everything was the work of a harmless idiot who wanted to stop hacérselas bad ... go figure why!

This unrest attenuated as time passed but was intensified to when opening the mailbox to that of the two. After almost three months from receipt of the statement found another about the same as the previous one although it was not in the mail box you saw on the floor of the hall someone introduced under his door and took a couple of meters. On discovering he froze and was afraid of collapsing against the wall, after a long time on and pulled up the cardboard that read with the soul in suspense:

hereby inform you that I have finally decided 'sine die 'murder.
Against this there can be no appeal. Thus it

my sentence, I pronounce and seal.


"Sine die? Questioned the meaning of the Latin word made while the firm was set turned out to be a perfect "X" drawn in ink-brown and suddenly his memory brought him a clear memory of a waning winter afternoon in the poor neighborhood where he grew up. At this time of year the fog became more habitable blurring the harsh reality of the neighborhood hardness in which a group of boys opted for the cold of the street before the boredom in their humble abodes. Heat pulled to the other sitting on a broad, steep staircase almost ruined. Dallying with aggressive boys to girls, they spoke loudly, kissing, joking smoking, spitting, cursing, were almost wild, almost happy. One of the girls pulled out a shiny bottle and immediately snatched it which was a superb lad then and now was a frightened man, the kid climbed to the lower branch of a nearby tree, the girl was required between insult and to insult him back, others were limited to observing how far it was able to get the boy knew that knew him best would be very far away, for his foolish cruelty had not yet set limits, the girl left the insults and began to plead, he asked about the content and another girl said that was the basis of expensive makeup and his friend had saved for long time to buy. The idiot opened the bottle and sniffed brownish cream then made as to fell a few times as she kept begging. Parsimonious emptied the entire bottle in a rough branch smearing then to leave no trace of cream on the palms of their hands. Does this girl hate the memory increased year after year would be able to wish him dead?

A long life like yours, like any other, leaving a long trail of offenses, damages, especially those close to that in the short radius of selfishness suffering the slights, the most serious offenses, the fear, envy or contempt of petty fools distributed as small virus causing a thousand pains without being aware of the profound suffering caused by the smallness of their miserable actions. He also came to mind even drooling gum in the hair of a classmate, a boy about ten years trying to detach pitifully crying even more tangled hair. Reminded him the next day with a shaved head and some bruises, probably signs of a furious mother have a son who hit much with your hair. Despite the passage of many years, people remember the sparkle in his eyes frightened as he, threatening, balloons with the gum was staring at him. Eyes. Others like those blue eyes those who swore to love all life, a girl who left everything unconditional surrender to an irresponsible months later he was unable to hold his gaze as he said goodbye. Dolores small, sometimes combined minimum suffering year after year to take the fullest at the gates of madness, for example with a barely audible noise, the annoying hum of the engine of a diffuser installed in your fireplace with that plagued the neighboring wall without allowing a peaceful sleep for years.

So time went on, mentally inventorying grievances, humiliation, lies, betrayals, disappointments in what until then seemed innocent childishness, pranks, carelessness, forgetfulness or lack of interest that caused so much suffering and felt so much remorse for what he considered irreparable perhaps be justified his death sentence, not a big damage, such as murder or high treason but more so by the sum the thousand, a million malice committed over a lifetime and as the cold fog of his childhood covered him with infamy.

awoke, but would not open his eyes. He was naked, bound hand and foot on a smooth, cold, steel probably rightly figured he was on a table similar to autopsies. He had not the slightest idea of \u200b\u200bhow got there but it did not matter too much at the time, in what appeared to be his final. The murderer bustled around, hit an air intake system, tested drains, placing equipment, tools, man perceived by the pungent odor of formaldehyde and upon her eyelashes powerful light from the lamp that was turned on him. He cocked his head opened his eyes and saw a stack of stainless steel attached to serve meant for washing bodies near a figure with green gown was busy putting knives, scissors, tweezers, a hammer, a chisel, what seemed like a saw vibration, and among other instruments, weights and scales. Approached him and looked closely at the eye lifting your eyelid, not known, impossible to recognize someone after a few glasses dressed as a surgeon gown, mask, disposable gloves and shoe covers. As he examined the eye in a whisper asked who he was, what was the damage for which he was punished, said it was all he wanted to know, do not beg forgiveness and plead for his life.
The other was discovered and he sought in memory without finding anything. The face was that of a stranger, the friendly face of a middle-aged woman staring at him seeing that reflected in his bright eyes almost like a corpse
- Why you? - modulated voice, gentle chills and fear caused him extreme - I start autopsied in life - the perfect man noticed that his skin was cut in the shape of a large T, a power left shoulder to right under the collarbone and from half the perpendicular cut down respecting the navel to the pubic symphysis. A woman from the chest up a little abdominal wall to avoid damaging the abdominal viscera, then cross-cut each side in the lower abdomen.
- But Why? Why? Why? - Repeated the man.
The woman pushed the mask and moving the head from side to side responded with the weary and almost musical tone of a girl:
- As Scorpio, living in a house of odd and left-handedness - to put the mask back and proceeded to the extraction of the grid matter. Before fainting man exclaimed
- God help my poor soul!