1
From when the will is insufficient to sin.
was one of those autumn days that smell like spring. In Berfurt declined a serene afternoon in which the rearward leaves on the trees remained quiet without even the slightest breeze that move by announcing the approach of winter. Close modernist facade of the Manhattan hotel raised its sad decline from nearby buildings standing similar to that of the group of friends in which one of them, without being beautiful, is the least disadvantaged of all. On the terrace Hotel, John Silva, supported both hands on the wrought iron railing, looked like a simple architectural ornament. Entertaining look at the skyscrapers of the financial area, imposing, stood out on an orange sky and near dusk. Guided by the cathedral spire was placing the different parts of the city for which he spent his existence, the church where he was baptized, the school, the institute where he educated, the business that gave him a job, the cemetery where their rotting dead. The echo of footsteps rhythmic footwork forced to cast my eyes down, checking with unpleasant noise produced as the journey of the woman who was waiting appeared onstage with a ridiculous pride like a queen with a crown of plastic. He followed until he entered the hotel fearing that purported to break, so ridiculous in their future into their thoughts, in your life. Stomach felt something unsavory, like a rolling stone dull and soft.
lackluster floral carpet muffled the sound of high heels aliviándosele the troubled spirit because he thought the sound of footsteps desluciría entry into a very elegant hotel. Despite the decline, to Donatilda Schiaffino the hotel seemed like a great place, refined, respectable, neat trim something like displaying the elderly charged medals and honors. After the marble desk receptionist a slender man of middle age, looking over a tiny gold-rimmed glasses. She, to be important, did not show the smile normally docile subordinate in his dark face appeared merely to ask, expressionless, the number of the waiting room. The man stood a moment with his mouth pursed and eyes fixed on Donatilda brown eyes before answering with the harshness of forced pleasantries. She liked a large extent as the three-digit room number and add it to Madame courtesy title, not noticing the routine with which the covered the receptionist, who was still keeping an eye missed by the shelter of cloth that covered it, closed up the last button and so expropriated for an evening so warm. In the majestic wrought iron gates of the lift, some rusty, surrounded by furnishings inappropriate to the times we ran and influenced by the charm of that stale air, Donaltilda stretching back almost hurt considering in waiting, as a distinguished nineteenth-century lady, and that despite the buzz of an improper flashing sign, yellowed by time and fat indicating an emergency exit. The ancient elevator cabin majestically down from the heights. The luster mahogany, gold hardware, engraved crystals, all it looked like a magic carriage to take perhaps the territories of a reality very different from that lived every day. Came slowly trying not to make noise and after pressing the button on the top floor brought his face attached to a gilt mirror that was so beautiful to your eyes as I thought I had been in his time of splendor, beautiful yet, despite creases, the hardness of memories, of the injustice of his more than fifty years.
John Silva came into the room and closed the glass door of the terrace, his arms crossed tightly over his chest and sighed, leaning his forehead on the cool glass glanced Berfurt imprecise, although the city with all its grandeur became invisible to his senses and was concentrating on the likely satisfaction of a lustful desire, old, feeling the ambivalence of that time when his unpleasant mood, altered, he could not recognize the situation despite being nice dream for a long time.
Donaltilda John did not love, I wanted, I felt the urge to possess sweeping with the vehemence of a young male, not seem like a beautiful woman, but because as a man wanted to take over the dominant femininity so obvious and that was much more tempting to wish that any other endowed with a more recognizable and vulgar beauty. Those dark corners profiled by the softness of your skin South, the warm smile that softened the harsh features, his attitude, offering so provocatively submissive so delicately rendered in dealing going on in the insides of Jhon Silva something like a delightful itching, a longing for love with a savage brutality of a violent exercise of possession animal. So I imagined when, being satisfied also, decorated her fantasy in perversions involving a being of great mettle as Donaltilda who assumed a passive goodness, without angles and as appropriate for their lust.
Coworkers, over time almost became friends. It was invited to their intimate allowing occasional bold confidence to reach a ridge where it was necessary to be dropped or retrace the steps taken by cooling its relations in virtue. Although they, then, no idea to where they had a passion so swollen but waited patiently to get to the inevitable fulfillment of a goal. Spent much time playing mischievously smearing honey on the lips until the day before John raised suddenly and a half in jest a challenge to Donaltilda he thought would definitely open their relationship to sex.
lit the room lights and amber weakness made him perceive the space and the situation with grief. The curtains yellowed by the dim light, the heavy brown curtains hung inert, like his desire, without a murmur that stoked on that fateful hour. They knocked on the door remained as it stood, arms folded leaning against the window overlooking the city. Called back and waited for it to decide to open, by the reflection of the glass and the handle was moved slowly opening the door, the gap appeared as a puppet in the round, smiling face of John Donaltilda while it accelerated the disenchantment . Went and closed quietly, he turned the damn check that light does not favor women. They stood motionless, without a word. Everything that John liked it now hiding under a layer of makeup and just a rough coat of dark cloth. Her hair in a bun bad pretentious folly topped increased despite the high heels seemed lower than when wore their everyday shoes, seemed to be expropriated rise to something that ridiculed instead of raising it gracefully. The trembling Donaltilda despite keep smiling, you were drowning all his illusions to the cold figure watching him perceiving something worse than rejection feeling down on her a fine rain of contempt. Expected to be received with the attentions of a hungry for love, the compliment paid to a willingness to fill with joy and met someone who seemed to be seeing for the first time.
Nevertheless, trembling clumsily undid his belt, took too much, then looked fake smile showing all his life and opened his coat like a butterfly wings displaying his tanned nakedness, a position which involved testing favocedora. Coat, shoes, stockings, suspenders and faux pearls necklace earrings and decorated a body covered with shame that little by little ridiculous while transfiguring thought it was her fault for trying to ignite the desire a man with the childish flirtations a girl with a withered body fifties. John, astonished at the sight of that body to be open, suffered the burden of helplessness to prevent him from enjoying that which was now available and it was so often dreamed. Proved once more that the reality was the enemy of pride that always won over the years, as attested in the body of Donaltilda stopped suddenly seem so desirable and in their fantasies when alone was rewarded with an impossible exceeded a thousand times to this truth. His will faint acknowledged that he also spent many years and the painful image of women was merely a reflection of himself incapable of lust, unable to act like an animal full of life and angry joy to a woman who was offered without conditions. He tried to resume
rescued from the bleak situation in which there was deep down and clinging to a saving superficiality, said: - "Very good. I see you are capable, cleared his throat. I guess I've lost and you've won the holiday week I promised you if you saw here naked. " He closed his coat and hugged her and feel nothing, it still remained an unhappy feeling, hatred will come soon afterwards.
A thin line marking the horizon twilight cold blue, almost gray. Berfurt pinned night, beginning to glow with thousands of lights in their streets, like the vertical sign which occupied four floors high in the air close modernist facade Manhattan hotel.
